it was like his penis was on wheels.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
