Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
