Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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