one word: firstdatebathroomanal
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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