She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
