So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
