I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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