You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
