We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
