I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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