I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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