the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
