I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
