She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
