I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
