If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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