Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My vagina just clenched in fear
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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