Just fell off a train. Bad.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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