I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
