For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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