3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
