Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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