Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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