About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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