bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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