How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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