Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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