that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My feet surprised me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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