booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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