i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
