she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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