another moral hangover. fuck.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize