The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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