4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Who died my cat blue again?
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