Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
