So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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