just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
