i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
