that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I love you. Go after that dick
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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