I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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