And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
