god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
