I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
