We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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