Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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