I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Two words: blizzard sex
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
