im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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