You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
