i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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