Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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