Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize