take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
