So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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