Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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