My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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