Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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