just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
