Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
do herpes really smell.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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