mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize