Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
