could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
